what to text him after a hookup

What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

What to text him after a hookup? Is it too weird for you to contact him first? The answers with applicable examples are revealed right now!

You had a hot night with him; it was memorable! But the next morning, for an objective reason that the two of you did not have time to say anything to each other, should you open up?

This is worth considering because it contributes to deciding your relationship later! If you are confused about what to text him after a hookup, this post is something you cannot ignore! Now, grab your pen and paper, and get ready to learn some cool tips!

Read more: What To Text A Guy Before The First Date

Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.

Determine What You Want 

what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

Why Should You Work With Yourself First?

What do you want from this guy? Determine it before thinking of what to text him about after a hookup. Supposing you want to ghost him the following week, giving him the hope that you will see him again can be cruel.  

In contrast, you don’t want to be too casual if you want to see him on a more regular basis. It’s an important step as your message can start a romantic relationship and vice versa. 

Now, calm down and work with yourself first. Remember the night you spend with him to find out the answer. To control all the next talk and be true to him, you must be honest with yourself first.

What Do You Want Next?

What do you think about this guy? Is he what you’re looking for? Do you feel the thrill of being with him and want to take it further? What if you want to ghost him? If so, then you wouldn’t read this article.

It’s a great night, but should you want to satisfy your needs, consider it again. Provided that you feel like it’s nothing special and has no feelings for him, a long-term relationship may not be what you need. A friend with benefits (FWB) may be more suitable if you two accept this.

But you’ll know you have feelings for someone when being with him makes your heart beat faster and you can’t stop thinking about that all day. In this situation, continue seeking your love.

Give it another go if everything is unclear and you still haven’t decided! Perhaps the time you two spent together before was insufficient for you to comprehend one another, necessitating a subsequent date.

Don’t miss: 9 Tips To Have A Second Date With A Guy

What To Text Him After A Hookup? 

You Don’t Want To Meet Him Anymore

It’s challenging to say “no” to someone. But as you probably well know, once you don’t feel anything for someone, you’ll either have to reject them or stop.

Be precise and straightforward. Actually, this is not an issue because what matters most to you are your thoughts and feelings. You can share your opinions with him by using the following examples in your conversation:

  • “Thank you so much. But I don’t think I wanna take this any further.”
  • “You’re great, but I don’t think we’re matched.”
  • “I enjoyed the good time with you, but honestly, I don’t feel we fit each other”
  • “It’s a good time we spent together, and I’d like to leave it at that.”

You Just Want To Be Friends

Don’t forget to let him know how much you value him as a good friend, even if you don’t want to continue. First, don’t overthink things, and be honest; it won’t be a big deal.

Tell him how much you value your friendship with him. While sex cannot bring about harmony, other areas of life may do, benefit from mutual respect and compassion.

We know you’re waiting for the example. Write it down now:

  • “You attracted me a lot, but I don’t feel we’re on the same page. What if we keep this friendship?
  • “Honestly, a serious relationship isn’t what I look for. Can we still be friends?” 
  • “It’s nice to meet and spend time with you, but I don’t think we’re matched. I just want to be friends with you”.
  • “I wish we could be friends. Just take it easy. I enjoyed the time with you!”

Read also:
How To Know If A Guy Is Boyfriend Material
How To Know A Man Only Wants To Sleep With You

what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

When A Friend With Benefits Is More Suitable

To send these messages, make sure this relationship is what he wants. For example, he’s looking for something serious, but you don’t. It will create a contradiction in both of your intentions, and maybe, things will go nowhere.

Your text messages to your partner will be a little inviting and spoiled. Don’t know how? We’ve got many suggestions!

  • “You’re awesome! Are you ready for many “the next time”?”
  • “I had a great dinner, but there was no dessert. Can you be my sweet treat tonight? 
  • “Hey boys, what do you think about receiving some “benefits” with me tonight?”
  • “The weather today is great to be naughty! Would you like to come and enjoy it with me?”
  • “I can’t stop thinking about you on the bed. I’m ready for an “open relationship”…

Learn the one text message that make any guy obsess over you… Download this FREE EBOOK to discover how.

A Long-term Relationship Is What You Looking For

what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

Are you looking forward to a serious relationship with him? Just flirting in text messages isn’t enough. Sometimes, it makes him feel like you’re just playing around and haven’t decided for sure yet. 

Don’t forget to tell him that this connection has your blessing to demonstrate your seriousness. It’s important to use some tact when mentioning plans or aspirations.

When you think about specifics like his hair or features, you will clearly treasure every moment you spend with him. Strengthen your heart’s flutter as well. Alternatively, don’t be afraid to message him and express your astonishment if you can’t help but admit how much fun you had.

This may take time and needs more effort.

  • “I can’t stop thinking about you last night, especially your…. I think I fell for you…”
  • “Am I insane? I can’t get my mind off you! What have you done to me?”
  • “Time with you last night distracts me at work. It would be great if we could keep it long.”
  • “What did you think about last night? I think it’s good, like the way I feel!”
  • “I didn’t think I was looking for a serious relationship, but you made me change my mind last night.”
  • “I enjoyed last night more than ever. And it will be more wonderful if we can go a further step.”

You might also like: 80 Compliments A Man Will Love To Hear

Haven’t Had The Answer Yet? 

When you are still confused and have not made a decision for yourself, take some more time to consider it. Or, you can also consider his situation and reaction to prepare for the next steps.

Neutral text is only for investigating the situation and is a great choice. You may not need to mention what happened to see how he will react:

  • “Hey! How’s everything going?”
  • “Thanks again for last night; it was crazy and intense.”
  • “It’s a great time with you!”
  • “What are you up to? Any ideas for the weekend?”
  • “Thank you for spending time with me last night! It was greater than what I expected.”
  • “It’s nice to have a great night with you.”
  • “I haven’t had any plans yet. How about you?
what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

The Texting Rules After A Hookup 

3-Day Rule

As an unwritten rule, the best time to text someone is within three days of your hookup or your first date. This is similar to texting them and waiting for a response.

If you are too excited, message them on the first day is acceptable, but don’t rush! Don’t text them right away in the morning when you get home, but consider a more appropriate time like afternoon or evening.

Or, you may have to rethink the relationship when you texted them but didn’t get a response within the first three days. No one will be busy for three days and won’t have a minute to reply to you.

What if they text you first? When to reply is up to you but remember don’t let them wait too long, more than three days, for example.

Respect Each Other

Respect your partner, no matter how you want things to turn out. Whether it’s the truth or the joke, limit it because sometimes being too casual can make him feel disrespected.

Keep in mind that honesty is appreciated. Whether you want to refuse to continue the relationship or vice versa, sincerity should come first. It will make the opponent feel more comfortable, even if rejected.

Read more: How To Ask A Guy About His Feelings Towards You Over Text

Be Clear 

Flexibility and tact in conversations will make both of you feel more comfortable. However, apply it properly rather than talking around and not going to the right point.

Be direct in your sentence because a vague word can cause people to misunderstand it in a favorable or bad way. As mentioned, to avoid misunderstandings, you must know what you want before you confess it.

Of course, you can add a few things to comfort them in order to prevent hurting others. However, going with the flow is crucial so that nothing comes off as forced or stereotypical.

Texting sounds straightforward yet is a real tactful strategy in a romantic affair. And to master it is no easy feast. That’s when Text Chemistry enters the scene to arm you with valuable insights into the tactics to trigger a man’s psychology and provoke his love for you.

Take a look at my review and watch this free video to see how it teaches you simple yet effective ways to “guide” someone’s heart.

what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

Don’t Make Any Assumptions

Don’t assume anything about someone when you don’t know them well because we all have our own biases and opinions. A brief encounter or a few texts cannot establish their identity.

Maintain the relationship as friends and continue getting to know one another if you have any lingering questions.

What You Shouldn’t Do After A Hookup 

Above are useful examples for texting him, but what you shouldn’t mention in your conversation to avoid ruining it?

It’s Too Soon To Talk About Far-reaching Plans

Oxytocin is the primary hormone released during sexual activity (the love hormone). Compared to men, women generate more of it. We can feel attached to our partners when oxytocin is released. This explains why many women report feeling “attached” or “in love” after having sex.

Even if you think you’ve fallen completely in love with him, hold off saying anything. Promises of love or far-fetched plans can overwhelm him. Take the extra time to learn more and start when you two are ready.

Don’t miss: 13 Unconscious Signs He Likes You

Text Him Repeatedly And Repeatedly

If you text him frequently, he will only assume you are needy, clingy, and desperate. This behavior is unacceptable, even when you are insanely in love with someone.

He may feel overburdened and irritated when occupied with work or other personal tasks. While we know that you seek information and wait for a response, not everyone can do so as quickly as you want. Before deciding, he also needs time to think about the matter.

what to text him after a hookup
What To Text Him After A Hookup For The First Time

Just Talk And Not Listen

In any situation, this can be viewed as impolite. Listening should always take precedence over talking since you can infer someone else’s intentions from their speech. This rule also applies to conversations after sex.

Constantly talking and not listening can give him a bad impression of you. Or, more pity, you might miss something important in his words. Situations can change and improve if you know how to grasp them.


What Should I Do If I Don’t Like Him After A Hookup?

Normally, people will tend to hide if they don’t like someone, and what people usually do is ghost them. We assume that by not responding to messages and ignoring someone, we can give them a sign that we are not interested in spending time with them.

However, it’s cruel to ghost someone when they did nothing wrong, and the problem here is your feelings, which can make them doubt themselves a lot.

The best way is to stay in touch with them and thank them for their time. During the conversation, you can clarify that you want to be friends or don’t want to go any further. And please check the examples mentioned above to apply.

What Does A Guy Think After A Hookup?

There isn’t any exact answer to this question as it’s dependent on each person’s feelings, attitude, and so on. He may consider the relationship with you or think of nothing.

Below are something that your guy can be curious about in common:

  • He’s satisfied with the experience with you
  • He wonders if you like it or not
  • He’s worried whether he did something wrong like staying too long or hurting you
  • He thinks of the relationship next time and how to open up
  • He doesn’t enjoy it and wants to leave or be friends with you

Can I Start A Serious Relationship After A Hookup?

Why not? Why are you thinking about it when it might be a wonderful chance to get to know each other better or perhaps a new stage in your relationship?

Although it is a delicate subject, many relationships end quickly because it is not conducive to hooking up. Because of this, you should relax and realize that spending the night with him is typical as you get to know your potential partner.

However, the good thing takes time. Observing his attitude and action is necessary before asking for something serious. 

You might also like: How To Flirt By Text With A Guy

Final Thoughts

Whether you like him or not, making contact after sex should be considered the absolute minimum of politeness. Always start with yourself, decide what you want to say and do, and proceed. 

Don’t know what to text him after a hookup? We are confident that one of the examples above will be helpful to you. Anyway, respect each other. Everything will be simpler and easier when you are clear, honest, and stop overthinking.

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