Your man has confessed to you, and you feel like you are on cloud nine. But what should you do when you’re not ready for a relationship? Click here.
After years of pining, the man of your dream finally utters that he has liked you for a long time. We understand that feeling; it’s as if you are the happiest person in the world!
However, mutual pining and officially dating turn out to be two very different things. Despite their strong burn for the man, some women might discover that they are not as ready to enter this new phase as they originally thought.
So what should you do when you’re not ready for a relationship? Start it anyway, or give up and wait until the right time comes? This insightful article will deliver some needed answers. Keep scrolling for more!
Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.
How To Know It When You’re Not Ready For A Relationship? 13 Signals
1. You Are Still Obsessed With The Chasing Games
Do not fret; we do not mean it as a negative trait. After all, who doesn’t love games? We all went through those phases, waiting hours before sending a response and trying to appear mysterious. These are all considered classic methods to seize someone’s heart!
So again, we need to stress that some drama here and there is nothing wrong. However, if you still find yourself addicted to it after weeks (or even months), chances are a serious, committed relationship is not your thing right now. Wait for some time to reach the maturity level needed for an official affair.
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2. You Find It Hard to Trust Others
To this day, you still cannot trust anyone – even yourself. You struggle to feel confident in important decisions, always feeling unsure and anxious.
That’s definitely a red flag one should not ignore. After all, how can a girl trust her boyfriend or lover if she fails to believe in her own choice? She will always stay on edge, wondering whether dating this man is the right decision. Such uncertainty only leads to future disasters.
3. You Keep The Same Guy Checklists For Years
Okay, we know many women who have been crossing out names from their checklists without getting any positive results. Yes, there have been a lot of determined, witty, smart, and good-looking men, yet their relationships keep blowing up.
But despite that, several girls are unwilling to discard that list. It seems they enjoy being single and watching things fall apart rather than settling down!
Read more: How To Attract A Guy Through Text Messages
4. You Change Partners At A Neck-breaking Speed
Some women like to force their beliefs and ideologies onto their partners, which is why most of these men often do not stay long.
Frequent breakups mean either your taste in men has some problems – or you prefer dating a male version of yourselves. Regardless of which one suits your case, it seems you are clearly not ready for any serious affair yet.
5. You Fall In Love With Someone Way Too Fast
Have you ever fallen in love with a dazzling man at first sight (or after only one or two dates?) Yes? Some might think that sounds romantic, but sadly, it doesn’t. Saying the “L” word too soon only proves that you are obsessed with your idea of him, not his true self.
A woman who doesn’t understand the true essence of falling in love will not know how to keep the relationship stable in the future. Take a few steps back and discover more about the man before making any important decision.
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6. You Always Feel Unhappy
Relationships are not supposed to serve as a major source of happiness. Relying on someone to feel happier is a terrible idea – if not makes you feel even worse.
Hence, do not reach out to anyone if you have yet found a way to solve your depression/emotional troubles. Otherwise, those depressing thoughts only severely damage your already fragile relationship.
7. You Hate The Concept of Being Tied Down to A Place Forever
This signal might sound similar to signal number 4 (changing partners at a neck-breaking speed), but they are not entirely the same. While signal number 4 indicates bad taste/unrealistic expectations of men, signal number 7 is more connected with commitment issues.
Most young women are often like that; they like to travel around the world, jump from one job to another, and explore everything they haven’t already known. The idea of being tied down to a man sounds suffocating to them.
If that’s also your case, do not try to change yourself into someone else. Satisfy your hunger for knowledge and let the gut lead you ahead. If love is something you need, you will eventually realize that sooner or later.
Read also: Dirty Things To Dare A Guy Over Text
8. You Harbor Some Lingering Feelings for Exes
That’s not as uncommon as you might have thoughts – especially for women that did not do the dumping part themselves. (rather, they were dumped by their boyfriends).
But we never said the problem lies here. These lingering feelings only become dangerous if you cannot help analyzing the smallest details of your previous relationships.
To get to the next phase, you must let the past go. Hanging on to what has been gone only prevents you from reaching true happiness. Find some professional help or psychological experts if needed.
9. You Always Look For Something Better
This has close connections to signal number 7. In your eyes, there is always something much better than your current relationships, and you hate missing out on all of them.
A girl who always pays attention to everything EXCEPT her man is obviously not an ideal girlfriend/lover at the moment. If you still have some consideration for the man, kindly tell him that you are not yet ready.
You might also like: How To Know A Man Only Wants To Sleep With You
10. You Still Prioritize Your Friends And Acquaintance
Of course, a girl should not dump her friends as soon as she finds the man of her dreams. But letting them be your sole priority is another story!
Balance your relationships and spend quality time with both your partners and peers. If even that simple task seems overwhelming for you, you already have the answer.
11. You Feel Desperate
Are you signing up for hundreds of dating apps, going on numerous blind dates a week, and ready to try it out with ANY man? Girls, we know you want a man, but being that needy and desperate is not a good indicator.
Your eagerness to settle down will blindside you, making you overlook the man’s red flags or negative traits. Let yourself calm down first before reaching out to dating apps again.
Once you feel that you are ready for love, I will share with you this strange sequence of words called a “Devotion Sequence“. It’s truly amazing because it will make ANY MAN feel a hungry desire for you that’s BEYOND love…
Here is my review in case you want to take a sneak peek.
Otherwise, watch this short video to learn these words. What happens at the end made my jaw drop:
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12. You Do Not Want To Sacrifice for Anyone
Most humans have undergone those “edgy” phases – when they feel they are the sole center of the universe, and everything and everyone else is insignificant.
But these periods should only serve as a small part of your growth and development. If you still think sacrifices for others are “silly” and “laughable”, no healthy relationships can have room to flourish. Your selfishness will only make things fall apart and destroy the poor man.
13. You Do Not Want to Change and Improve Yourself
Have you lost your dream job or broken up with a boyfriend due to personal mistakes or carelessness? Do you struggle to deal with anxiety?
You are not alone; everyone has to face challenges to keep committed relationships and jobs. But what sets successful and failing affairs apart is that both parties are willing to work on their problems. Those claiming that they are already perfect and refuse to change for the better should not date anyone, in all honesty!
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What Should You Tell The Man When You’re Not Ready For A Relationship?
Define Everything Upfront
Let’s get straight to the point when you decide to mention the topic with him. Do you only look for a casual affair and want things to stay that way? Or have you never been interested in him at all? Clarify your points as well as possible to avoid awkward conversations and misunderstandings later on.
Sure, your emotions might fluctuate and change over time (and so does his). However, starting the discussion honestly at the moment is important. Do not put it off!
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Only Focus On Facts: Your Needs and Feelings
Do not bring blame, apologies, or personal insults to the table. Instead, be direct and frank with how you felt, what you wanted, and how a relationship failed to give you all of those.
Let’s say you feel overwhelmed with schoolwork and need to concentrate on the exam. Another example is that you currently feel curious and excited about being single – and wish to explore your emotions further without any commitments at play.
No matter the reason, ONLY focus on your needs and feelings to avoid escalating the conversations into heated arguments. It’s okay if the other party has needs and feelings opposite yours.
Given that they express their thoughts in non-accusatory ways and do not minimize yours, hear their opinions while still abiding by what is right for yourself.
Give The Man Rational Explanation for Your Perspective
Hands down, choosing whether to enter a relationship or not is your personal choice. There’s no need to over-explain or defend yourself. However, to show respect for the other party, it would help to go a bit into detail to help the man comprehend your perspective.
Take time to describe the situation, and spell out your preferences in a way that makes it easy for the man to accept your decisions and move forward with his life.
Of course, this advice is only practical if the entire conversation keeps you comfortable. Once the topic starts shifting into unhealthy territories – where the listener tries to change your thoughts or guilt-trip you, end everything right then and there.
Read more: What Does That Mean If A Guy Stares At You?
How Long Can My Man Wait If I Am Not Yet Ready?
There’s no definitive answer to this question, though some experts suggest a short period of three to six months (sometimes, even one month is enough).
The man himself should decide what works best for him, figuring out whether he likes to be casual with this girl or part ways to find another woman who’s more willing to be committed.
Either way, no parties should feel forced to start a relationship if they do not want to. Listen to their guts to assess the right timing.
Can Women Both Fall In Love and Feel Not Ready At The Same Time?
Yes, that’s the whole essence of this article! Most relationships rely on the right timing, after all.
A woman might harbor strong feelings for someone, care deeply for him, or even imagine a near future with him by her side. However, many factors might influence her decision to take the next big steps, such as past trauma, jobs, and careers, or her hesitancy to settle her adventurous spirit and be tied to someone. (refer back to the previous sections).
But again, once the girl is certain she has fallen in love, her man doesn’t need to fear that she might slip out of his grasp if the relationship doesn’t start immediately. Given the right moment, she will waltz back to him. All the man has to do is wait.
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Should A Person With Commitment Issues Enter A Relationship?
Commitment issues are among the most common reasons people hesitate to start dating someone – as stated above.
Still, in some cases, we suggest you give someone with commitment issues a second chance – given that he/she actively tries to overcome them. Otherwise, it’s not a great idea.
When you’re not ready for a relationship, do not force yourself to try; love is not supposed to be something that makes both parties uncomfortable.
However, that also does not mean that this man is not the right one for you; maybe it’s just that the timing has not been right. Give both you and him sometimes until your heart urges you to move forward. If the man falls as hard for you as he claims, he will be willing to wait!
Do you still have any questions regarding this issue? No worries; feel free to write to us anytime. We are always open to inquiries and comments!