Want to impress the guy you are seeing for the first time? Just don’t forget these 18 simple things to avoid doing on your first date.
Do you know that in America, according to Unmarried America, there are over 106 million unmarried individuals? That makes up over 44% of the adult population. It seems clear that dating has become quite a fierce competition.
Dating is also a game in many ways. Everyone wants to win. Yet a date doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes there is no spark, no attraction, or no value alignment. Then there are occasions when you start sabotaging the relationship right away.
Here I’ve compiled a list of 18 things to avoid doing on your first date. Let’s get into this!
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18 things to avoid doing on your first date
1. Touching your phone
That’s right! This is one of the very first things to avoid doing on your first date. You might not even notice this, but it’s easy to forget about life outside of the screen while you’re texting, posting, and liking. Using your phone when talking to someone makes you appear bored or preoccupied. It gives the impression that you’re not serious or simply not interested in your date.
So put down the phone and focus on your date, getting to know him in person. If necessary, excuse yourself to the restroom and check your phone there.
Read more: 9 tips to have a second date with a guy
2. Being late
Just imagine waiting for your date in the rain. Surely you won’t enjoy it. So another thing that you shouldn’t do on a first date (or subsequent dates) is to be late. It’s important to always be on time. If you make this very simple mistake, it can be a poor indication for the future. Being late makes your date assume he’s just another guy.
If you can’t prevent it in any ways, send an SMS apologizing and apologies again when you arrive.
3. Staying silent without asking
If you don’t want awkwardness, here’s one of the things to avoid doing on your first date: keeping silent. Try making conversations by asking questions as it shows that you’re interested in the guy. If you don’t ask your date any questions, he’ll assume you don’t like him and lose interest in you quickly.
If you’re bashful or unsure what to ask, prepare a list of questions for different conversation topics ahead of time.
4. Bringing up your ex
Another thing that you shouldn’t do on a first date is talking about your ex. For many people, this is a huge turnoff. It’s usually a hint that you haven’t totally moved on from your ex and that your current date is just a rebound. Talking about an ex-love makes your date question if you’re ready for someone new. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you start sentences with ‘I used to date someone who…’
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5. Excessive talking (mostly about yourself)
Make sure the communication is flowing back and forth, and don’t make it difficult for the other party to speak. Try asking open-ended inquiries if the person you’re with isn’t talking much.
It’s best not to talk about yourself all the time without caring about your date’s reaction or attitude. Talking too much about yourself means you’re too self-absorbed. Also, don’t scare him away with too many questions. That will make him feel uneasy as if he’s going for a job interview instead of a date.
6. Getting drunk
Drinking should be maintained to a bare minimum—ideally no more than two alcoholic beverages. Excessive drinking can put you in a nightmare circumstance where you can make decisions you wouldn’t ordinarily make.
You want to have a conversation with the guy, but that’s extremely difficult to do that when the room is spinning. Under such circumstance, a first date might easily evolve into a one-night stand. Is that what you want?
Read also: Is it bad to be single at 30?
7. Mentioning marriage or children
First dates aren’t ideal to ask for his opinions about this subject. You don’t know if you want to share a dessert, let alone a future, on your first date. It may also give the impression that you are hurrying the relationship for certain people.
If you really want to know your date’s thoughts towards this subject, you can ask questions like ‘Tell me about your family’ instead. His answer may offer you an indication of his desire toward establishing a family.
8. Wearing inappropriate clothes
You only get one chance to make a positive first impression. So one of the things to avoid doing on your first date is wearing barely-there clothes because that can make you appear “easy” or “loose.” Also, don’t arrive dressed for the gym. Look good, but don’t overdo it.
On a first date, a girl should stick to one of two rules: either show her legs or her chest, but never both. This way, you’ll be well-balanced, and your date will have some room for his imagination.
9. Sleeping with him
Don’t have sex with your date right away if you genuinely want a committed relationship and for him to take you seriously. That’s another thing that you shouldn’t do on a first date with a guy.
Having sex on the first date will cloud your judgment. If he doesn’t call back, you’ll waste a lot of time analyzing, stalking, and even asking him out on a second date and third date yourself. Just because he had sex with you doesn’t mean he’s interested. If you care about his interest, wait to sleep with him.
10. Returning to his or your place
This is risky. Even if you know the guy and think he’s a pussycat, he could change into a tiger when you’re alone with him. It will also certainly lead to boredom or sex, which you don’t want on your first date. So that’s one of the things to avoid doing on your first date with a guy.
11. Discussing controversial issues
While knowing where your date stands on finances, religion, the future, or politics is essential, don’t bring it up on your first date. If you two don’t agree on everything, it might lead to conflicts and awkward situations. You may be looking for a life mate, but you’re putting the cart before the horse here.
Simply stay away from obscure and thought-provoking issues. Get to know the guy and don’t jump to conclusions.
Read more: 15 reasons why men don’t like you
12. Being too self-deprecating
This means don’t reveal all of your shortcomings on a first date. Low self-esteem is less attractive than modesty. It’s acceptable to make one self-effacing joke, but not a series of them.
Here’s an example: telling your date you’re lousy at dating. It’s akin to the director announcing that the movie is terrible before it even starts. It suffocates whatever motivation or interest the guy might have had for you.
13. Forgeting your manners
On a date, it’s shockingly simple to forget your manners, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get away with it. If the guy is paying the bill, simply thank him. Be polite to the waiter as well.
This is one important factor among the things to avoid doing on your first date. A person with good manners will be remembered above someone who can’t even say please when asking to pass the salt. You want to make good impressions, don’t you?
14. Being someone else (not you)
You’re hungry and you want the steak? So don’t pretend to eat like a rabbit with the garden salad. What will happen if you “act” on your first date and then attempt to get real later?
Just be the real you so that you don’t have to recall what act you’re performing. If he doesn’t like who you are, you know his chance is coming to an end.
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15. Being creepy
So you know you like this guy and want to show it. Fine. But set a boundary.
Another thing you shouldn’t do on a first date is coming on too strong that makes you appear creepy. Don’t talk about the second date too early or call him “honey” or “babe”. Don’t send him a friend request right after the first date or stalk the guy’s social media page with hearts and comments.
You don’t want him to think you’re desperate. Let the hunter hunt.
Read more: How to ask a guy out without being creepy
16. Divulging any (or all) of your secrets
There are certain things that are best left unsaid, such as your family heritage, your birthmark or your whole “tell me about yourself” part. You two might not know each other that well, so telling your date your deep down secret is probably one of the things to avoid doing on your first date.
Why? Your date could chuckle at your stories or give you a friendly nod, but he could be listening to music in his head. He could shut you out totally. Save some for later.
17. Obsessing with your appearance
Self-care is one thing, but obsessing about your appearance is quite another. How would you feel if your date keeps inspecting his reflection in his knife instead of looking at you? Or worse, if he runs to the bathroom every five minute? So strike a balance.
18. Talking about your ideal other half
Even if you only intend it as “nice-to-have” instructions, the difficulty with this topic is that it often comes off as a “must have” or “dealbreaker” list that most individuals can’t satisfy. In other words, rather than charming you to your date, it is likely to repel him.
First dates don’t always turn out great, but however it goes, you always want to be your best, don’t you?
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In this recent James Bauer’s outstanding free video, you will find the answer. He offers some simple start-up advice, such as sending your man a 12-word text that will immediately activate his hero instinct. Because that is the hero instinct’s beauty.
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Going on first dates is about having fun and enjoying yourself. You’ve known what to talk and how to act on your first date, but it’s also essential to remember the 18 things to avoid doing on your first date.
Don’t forget to pay attention to small details while you’re having fun. It’s time to get out there and seize the opportunity to meet your love!