how long to text after a first date

What And How Long To Text After A First Date – Things To Know

Have you just enjoyed the first date with your dot-on man? Here come your chances! This article delivers tips on how long to text after a first date as well as what to text him.

Let us guess: you have just come home from one of the best evenings you ever had in your life, still reeling from the divine sensation. And now is the most pivotal moment: text him to express your feelings. Your success or failure will either seize this man forever or push him further away. 

Turn to our descriptive guide for instructions on what to text and how long to text after a first date!

What to Text After A Good First Date

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

1. Tell The Man You Enjoyed His Company 

The man must be dying to know whether he was a good company to you. Though such anxiety might not have shown on his face, we are pretty certain it is wrecking him from inside!

Put a stop to his insecurity by informing him how you have appreciated the date and enjoyed his presence. Be as concise as possible that what you refer to here is neither the drinks nor the meals, but conversations shared between you two.

This straightforward yet sincere compliment will give his ego some necessary boost, fostering some kinds of foundations for your future chances.

2. State Clearly Your Intention for A Second Meeting

Vague hints or roundabout suggestions are never advisable – what men hate most is ambiguity! They need to see whether all their pooled efforts are heading anywhere.

There is no need to confirm all the specifics yet; still, it is important to plant some seeds of a second date onto his head and observe any instant reaction. 

If it seems to be interpreted as affirmative, do not hesitate to take one further step and propose another meetup within two days (or even one day if you want to see the guy as soon as possible). Wait some more before delving into details.

These stages must be one of your top priorities, or else all will be for nothing! Keep it concise and smooth, allowing a seamless flow for the text exchange. 

Read more: How To Ask A Guy About His Feelings Towards You Over Text

3. Relate to What Happened On The Date

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

Men love it when their dates are impressed with certain things they have said. It showcases how the girl actually paid him keen attention and not just sat there pretending to be interested.

Suppose the man has ranted about his photography passion. That same evening, your texts might mention how you are excited to behold some of his best works – and jokingly ask when he could take a portrait of you!

It would be even better if some hilarious events occurred during the evening – such as an accidental dump of beverages or losing your way around the city. 

Feel free to bring them up again in the most light-hearted tone possible, reminding the man how much fun you both had together! Not to mention, such clever approaches may also lift his mind off some other awkward moments that you would rather he not think about ever again.

4. Flirt if That Seems Natural to You (No Sexting, Though!)

One date is way too soon for steamy messages, but flirting can be alright (given that it is something both of you are comfortable with). Still, not everyone is an expert in textual flirting, so you do not have to force it on him or turn to one-size-fits-all pickup lines scattered all over the Internet.

Just be your true self! If the date went as well as you thought, the guy would find you charming despite your lack of flirting abilities. On the other hand, he will be thrown off once you start throwing bunches of cliches that do not seem to reflect your personality.

5. Avoid Heavy Topics

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

Are you a goner for in-depth discussions about existential issues and the meaning of life? We understand, but do not dump all those grave arguments on a man you just met – at least not now. 

The conversation should be light-hearted and simple enough to gain immediate responses. After all, there’s no time for thousands of identity interrogations over text; the man only needs to know if you are willing enough to arrange another date.

Try not to rant about your personal problems, either; no one has any interest in your disastrous workday or some petty arguments you just had with a friend. Instead, positive stories will help sustain a much more favorable image.

Don’t miss: Truth Or Dare Questions For Text

How Long To Text After A First Date And Extra Tips for Success

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

1. Message The Guy After The First Date With The “Right” Timing

Timing issues are also quite headache-inducing. How long should you initiate any text exchange? 

As soon as both of you leave? Upon getting home? Or within days? 

The matter is not as complicated as we tend to believe! Your choice can be flexible, but remember to sustain a delicate balance: neither too long nor too quickly. Within 12 hours, it is safe to send a conversational message with “thank you” if you have not heard anything from the man yet.

Learn the exact words to text a man to truly open up his heart to you and fuel his desire to be daring and romantic… Download your FREE EBOOK for more.

2. Leave Some Time Gap Between Texts to Avoid Overeagerness

Refrain from instant replies, or you might leave behind the impression of a desperate girl clinging to his every word. What a way to ruin your best chances!

For a more casual and relaxed appearance, we suggest you wait several minutes before hitting Send. No damage gets done to the conversation – and not to mention, your mysteriousness seems to increase tenfold in his eyes!

Furthermore, this gap lends you more time to prepare for the next responses. Just an extra 30 seconds are more than terrific to craft a flawless answer.

3. Slow Down If The Exchange Fails to Develop

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

Sensed no dynamics or developments? Then it is time to retreat a little bit. Not all relationships can blossom after one or two conversations, after all. 

If you still believe in your chemistry with him after the first date, it is alright to adopt a more laid-back pace and reply within one or two hours. Chances are the guy might not have anything personal against you; he is just very bad at texting! Men like that are more common than you would think, despite the prevalence of our digital era.

4. Avoid Excessive Emojis

We cannot deny that under specific circumstances, one or two emojis might reflect your opinions far better and more expressively than a sentence. 

Nevertheless, these icons should never become a primary attribute of your texts. It would be best to attach them with a sentence or phrase that conveys your intended meaning clearly.

If you wish to send one single emoji alone, ensure its meaning is more than obvious. Otherwise, a random puking face or unicorn may undergo different interpretations that stray far from your original purpose.

Read also: How To Attract A Guy Through Text Messages

5. Replace Texting with Phone Calls

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

After some time, try to shift from regular messages to phone calls. This approach is a must if both of you express mutual attraction.

Compared to phone calls, texting is much more calculated; each party has more than enough time to brainstorm, edit, and formulate an answer. It sacrifices the genuineness! On the contrary, talking on the phone seems to be a more natural process. You can also gauge the man’s instant reactions in real-time, with no filtering.

Of course, we never recommend you abandon texting immediately; it is still a vital transition from conversational exchanges to more intimate sharing in the future. And also, not many men are willing to engage in phone calls if you two have shared less than two dates at that point. 

6. Do Not Hesitate to Seek Help from Couple Counselors or Psychologists

You might think, “What’s the point of a new boyfriend if I cannot even handle some mere texting? I must do this by myself.” 

In fact, phone texts are where most misunderstandings or inconsistent signals occur. Unless you are an experienced woman, it is sometimes quite a challenge to decode all those conflicting indicators for meaningful messages. 

But who says you have to suffer alone? More and more online dating services are established, ready to lend you the best solutions for each issue. And for those who suffer from traumas or mental scars due to past relationships, some third-party support will be more than amazing.

Perhaps it’s time to learn the secret ‘Desire’ text message that men are powerless to resist with Amy North. She is a relationship coach in women dating and best-selling author of nearly 100,000 dating guides all over the world.

What to Text If The Date Does Not Live Up to Your Expectation?

1. When You Feel Unsure

how long to text after a first date
What And How Long To Text After A First Date - Things To Know

Sometimes, our first dates might be a mixture of both great and awkward moments. At the time of this writing, your fingers might be hovering upon the keyboards, uncertain what is the right thing to say.

Now might not be the best time to close your door on the man, though. Getting to know someone takes far more time than a single evening, and not to mention, first-date anxieties might also be a culprit here! 

Assess whether there is still something from him that you feel intrigued by. Even if it is just a small spark, all hope is not lost.

Once sufficient indicators show that the positives far outweigh the negatives, it is time to ask them for a second date. Keep your message short and sweet.

“That was so fun. I’m so glad to meet you! Still, I think we might need some more chances to learn about each other. How about next Saturday?”

Read more: 16 Signs Guys Lke You Through Text

2. When You Two Obviously Do Not Click

Here is the problem: you feel absolutely nothing for your date and do not wish to proceed any further in terms of romantic relations. What should you do now? The answer is simple: let him down gently.

Unless the evening ended on a negative note (and hence, requires no further texting), it is crucial to send this guy a message and clarify your current stance on the matter.

Do not tear the man apart by mentioning his flaws – or any specific reasons for your lack of connection. Instead, we recommend you deliver a more positive comment, such as:

“Today is lovely, and I liked it very much. Though I don’t think there is any romantic connection between us, I still think you are a great person. Wish you all the best!”

You may offer to remain this friendship, which is a genuinely nice gesture after the blow he has just received. However, only mention being friends if that is truly your intention. Otherwise, such proposals are pointless.


The evening was a success. That’s great news, but what to do next? Should you start the conversation? Or should the man contact you first? Is there any specific rule for such issues? 

Well, not really. That is just a matter of politeness. Unless things went badly and you both left angry and insulted, texting is only a natural follow-up step. Even small messages like “Thanks for today, it was great!” will work.

Whether there is any romantic interest or not, it doesn’t matter; the least you could do is to show some gratitude to a man who has spent lots of time and effort getting to know you better.

Thus, do not focus too much on who should message first and who should not. Suppose there has been no signal from the other party yet, feel free to kickstart the conversation. But if the man decides to reach you first, it’s terrific! Make sure to reply as soon as possible.

Most of us women tend to have some sixth-sense instincts regarding this matter. Nevertheless, you might need more transparent indicators to confirm the mutual attraction.

Let’s say the man likes to make intense eye contact, showcases a genuine interest in your personal matters, and gives you lots of opportunities for story sharing. In that case, chances are he believes you are a good match – or at least interesting enough for a second meeting. 

A date that went on longer than expected is also a great indication. You two vibed so hard that he never wanted to leave your side!

Final Thoughts

This article has delivered practical guidelines on what to text and how long to text after a first date.

Not all men turn out to be a perfect match in the end – even when you two seemed to hit it off – but do not feel discouraged. Be more confident and never give up on your Mr. Right. Feel free to reach us if you need more support!

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