The rate at which people are scamming other people out here in the name of love is alarming. Have you ever been used by someone who claimed to love you? Well, haven’t well at some point? Yes, I have read some of the stupid things you have done for love, and Boy, oh boy! People out here are heartless.
The most painful thing about being used in love is that it comes from a person you least expect. We need to be a little careful when picking romantic partners.
At this point, it is totally okay to do a background check on a person before you date them. The narratives out here have to change. We need to stop being naive. As much as we want to see the good in someone, we cannot ignore the fact that there are evil people in this world.
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THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN USE YOU FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP
You might wonder? How can I be used in a relationship? Worry not, I will break it down to you. This will be fun.
Money is definitely the number one thing you can be used for by someone you love. Someone will pursue you, convince you to be their lover and adore you in that relationship, only because they want you to provide for them financially. I understand that some people are in such kinds of relationships, but they have agreed to it. One provides the finances, and the other will do other things.
Fame and Social Status
I honestly think that people who rank high in society have the hardest time finding genuine love. Some people will date an influential person only because they want to rank high in society. That is I understand why some parents from influential families will prefer to arrange marriages for their kids. It is not ideal, but you know what they say, Better the devil, you know.
Celebrities, How many of them have been used for fame in the name of love. Man! Earth is hard.
Some people use others for emotions. The sad part is that both the user and the one being used for emotions may not even be aware of what is happening. Narcissists are people with personality disorders who feed on other’s emotions. Seeing someone express their emotions excites them for some reason.
This is why it is hard to be in love with a narcissist. When they get hungry and crave a sad emotion that day, they will bring you sadness. They may shout at you, gaslight you, belittle you or worse, beat you up. Because seeing you sad will excite them. If they crave a happy emotion, they will treat you like royalty. Buy expensive gifts and do the things you like, just because seeing you happy will excite them.
I think this is why in the initial stages of your relationship, they will love-bomb you. You know, they give you too much love that you probably have not earned because they are glooming you to feed on your emotions later.
Who is most likely to be scammed in the name of love?
Before we dive into the list, I want to clarify that everyone can be scammed for money, social status, or emotions. No one is safe. We cannot know the real intentions of a person, no matter how intuitive we are.
Users are master manipulators, so their actions will tell you differently even when your intuitions tell you one thing. You will even start doubting your own intuitions. So, you have been used in love, go easy on yourself, you did not deserve that. I hope you learned some lessons that will prevent that from happening again.
So this list is of groups of people I feel are likely to be used most in love, but you can add your name to it.
1. The Empaths
Empaths are highly sensitive people, and they can easily pick up the emotions of others. While empathy is considered a good virtue, it can be toxic or dangerous.
Sometimes empaths can be so gullible. Someone will come to you with a sad story. You believe and feel bad for them, and you will want to fix their situations.
One of the main ways users mess with you is to get your sympathy. People will come with stories of how they have sick relatives, how they lost their jobs, blah blah blah to get a piece of you. I am not saying that we stop showing kindness to people. All I am saying is some people do not deserve your kindness.
Especially for people who want to date you, a sad story as a pick-up story(line) is unacceptable. Our standards have got to be higher than that. I am telling you for a fact: when a person truly loves, even when they genuinely are in some trouble, you will be the last person they ask for help from. So take this to the bank.
2. People with history of any form of abuse
People who have been victims of abuse, such as physical, emotional or verbal abuse, are more vulnerable to being used in love. In addition, victims of abuse who have not healed from the trauma sadly may have the wrong idea of what love is.
For example, people who grew up in abusive homes are likely to attract people who will use them for their emotions. Why? Because that is all they have seen and known about love. Others will think that if they support their lovers financially, they will be treated right.
3. People who are desparate for love
Careful if you are at an age where everyone, including yourself, is pressuring you to be in a relationship. You are mostly to go out there and get anyone as long as they are breathing.
4. People who rank high in the society
It could be, you are famous, wealthy or have a great career. Some people will come at you to benefit from you.
5. Younger and older people
Young people who have never been in love are naive and are most likely to be used in love. However, everyone who has experienced heartbreak before can tell you how they felt used and the lesson they learned from the experience.
The older generation, probably retired, divorced or widowed, are also highly likely victims of being used in love. They are used for their money and time. Unfortunately, people in this group are victims of being scammed online. I have seen many documentaries of older people in western countries being scammed all of their retirement money by online guys in Africa.
Be selfish with your love. Before you get into a relationship, ask yourself, What am I getting in this? Refuse to be the one always giving. Romantic relationships don’t work well if you love unconditionally.