Look out for these signs to figure out if you are in an abusive relationship.
It is sad that some people have normalized abuse in relationships that we are confused as to what is considered abuse or not in a relationship.
I feel sad for the next generation because we are living in a world where growing adults who are public figures are glorifying abuse and calling it sexy. It is disgusting
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Here are what to look out for to figure out if you are in an abusive relationship and take the steps you need to take for your safety and sanity.
You Are In an Abusive Relationship If There Is Physical Abuse.
Physical abuse is an obvious indicator that you are in an abusive relationship. Nobody should have the authority to beat you up, regardless of what your transgressions are. There is always a way to solve problems that do not involve beating up on other people.
Physical abuse, on the other hand, is seen as a sign of love by some. If you believe you need to be beaten just so they can show you, love, please seek counseling. Love is not supposed to cause physical pain.
And it is understandable why you feel physical abuse is a sign of love. Perhaps you grew up in a home where abuse was the norm. But it isn't, darling. Nobody should inflict any pain on you.
You Are In An Abusive Relationship If There Is Verbal Abuse.
Another clear sign of verbal abuse is when it takes the form of verbal abuse. This occurs when your lover calls you the most repulsive, cruel, and hurtful terms imaginable.
Also considered verbally abusive is when your partner cannot speak to you with respect. They yell at you or speak to you as though you are an idiot.
There is absolutely no reason to be with anyone who does not respect you enough to speak to you like an adult. You deserve respect, and no one should address you in any manner they choose.
You Are Abused Sexually
Sexual abuse in a relationship can take two forms. First, it is when you are pressured into having intercourse or indulging in sexual activities that you are not comfortable with.
The other form of sexual abuse in a relationship is when you are denied sex. If you are legally married, you can use this against your partner in case you decide to file for separation or divorce.
Sex in partnerships should be consensual, if your partner wants to try some new bedroom tricks or toys, they should check with you beforehand and above all it should be respectful. Anything short of this constitutes sexual abuse.
If There Is Psychological Abuse
Psychological abuse, also known as gaslighting, manifests itself when you begin to question reality. Psychologically abusive partners will try to convince you that your memories are inaccurate.
They will be rude to prevent you from arguing. For instance, they may claim the book was on the table, whereas you recall it being on the chair. And if you try to tell them this, they will respond with something along the lines of, “Your memory isn't that great, huh?”
In some instances, we are unable to recall events precisely as they occurred. However, if this person always disagrees with you with the intent of distorting the truth, this is a sign of abuse.
Today, I want you to know that you are not insane or lazy, and most importantly, that your truth matters.
You Are In An Abusive Relationship If There Is Emotional Abuse
Most people mistake emotional abuse for psychological abuse. Your abuser's goal in emotional abuse is to crush your soul.
They will blame you for their immoral behavior. If they are angry and beat you up, they will not apologize. Instead, they'll try to tell you what you did to deserve to be beaten up.
Emotional abusers will do everything in their power to undermine your self-esteem and confidence. These are the people who will force you to quit your job and cut ties with your family and friends because they are the only ones who are good enough for you.
They will be envious if they see you advancing socially, financially, or in any other way. “You know, you're not the best career person out here,” they'll say.
Another thing that emotional abusers will do is do things that they know will irritate you. And remember that if you confront them, it is entirely your fault. These are the people who will bring out the most vulnerable thing you have ever told them about you in places they shouldn’t just to show the world how bad of a person you are.
Emotional abusers are the worst; they will bully you, give you deadlines, and make up ridiculous warnings. If your partner does all of these things to you, they are most likely an abusive and evil individuals who do not deserve you.
You Are In An Abusive Relationship if There Is Financial Abuse.
If your partner withholds money from you, controls all the family money without your input, Borrows money from you, and does not give it back. You are in a financially abusive relationship.
I know we are living at times where you guys are buying into the idea that money is not as important. However, I urge you to pay attention to how your partner is with money before things get serious with you too.
A person who loves you truly will want to put you in a position where you are struggling financially. If you have no idea financial struggles hurt. It is not fun to fail to pay your rent or to fail to afford basic commodities.
If you are confused if they love you for real or not, just observe their behaviors around you.
You Are In an Abusive Relationship If There Is Technological Abuse
Technological abuse is when your partner takes away your technology freedom. This form of abuse manifests itself when your partner limits your freedom using technology, for example installing cameras to watch you all the time, tracking your phone and location, and stalking you among other things.
You are entitled to some privacy as a person in a relationship and unless you have let your partner into some business, they should not be able to track you.
So, if you are in such a situation, yes, that is an abusive relationship.
If you have read this article and discovered that you might be in an abusive relationship, I pray for you. Sometimes even your abusive partner does not know they are abusive. Could be that is what their idea of love is.
However, your concern here should be getting yourself safe. Could include couples or individual therapy before you make your decision of whether to work on your relationship or end it. I hope your partner will be open to accepting to work on your relationship.