Maybe you're seeing someone new or just plain curious to know those top 10 dating red flags that should send you running – but I hope you won't forget your sandals though.
First date stories are sometimes catastrophic, and even funny at times. But there are moments that are really weird that one could only ask, did it really happen?
So how can you spot red flags on a first date?
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First dates are a time when it's both easy and hard to spot red flags. It's easy because there is no set of expectations to meet, and you don't have to worry about being polite. It's hard because, without expectations, it's also hard to gauge how much time you should spend with someone before you decide if they're worth your time.
Sometimes, red flags on first dates won't even cross a woman's mind while having a date with someone she never met before especially if she doesn't lay her luck on that single man or a single moment.
But a desperate woman who wants to be in a relationship right away could either commit these two mistakes – she won't notice the red flags a guy is throwing her way, or she notices it but she either ignores it or justifies it in her desperate head.
You might not be this desperate person but still, you deserve to know these first date red flags when you go on a date next time.
So here we go…
10 Dating Red Flags That Should Send You Running
– “I hate animals” statement
You might have an allergy or have a bad experience but don't you think ”hate” is such a hard word. Seriously, how can one hate those cute creatures? For animal lovers, PETA members, and vegan people, this is seriously an obvious red flag.
So if you continue dating this person, think about living with him with your fur babies.
Ugh, no thanks.
– Rude to the wait staff
If you think, those people only appear in films – no, they're real. Individuals with a-hole-ish attitude exist and oh, they could be there waiting for you to swipe right.
According to this article, you should never trust anyone who is rude to restaurant staff.
So what is rude in this context?
- Snapping at the staff as if he owns the place – if he really were the owner, still, it's rude.
- Ignoring the staff when they're talking as if they're not there or their presence doesn't really matter to him.
- Shouting at the staff when the latter did some mistake or the ordered food didn't arrive early as he demanded it
If you witness this incorrigible behaviour from your date, leave a tip to the staff, delete the number of your date afterwards, and let the memory fade into oblivion.
– Comparing you to exes
Just thought of comparing you to another person is somewhat frustrating and hearing this from a total stranger, who you think will be the one you're sharing a future with is frustrating to the next level.
This person may try to control you especially if he doesn't talk favourably about his past. He wants to make you feel like someone special and make you think you're way better than his exes so you would want to please him in the future.
Aside from that, talking about his exes, either in a negative or positive way, gives you that feeling he's not yet over those exes.
– Love bombing you
Perhaps you find it cute and adorable when he does everything for you. No matter what you say, he's always there and always agrees with what you have said.
Other than that – he showers you not only with gifts but with praises and compliments as well.
So what's wrong with those?
This is simply called Love Bombing. According to Betterhelp, love bombing happens when an individual is subjected to an excessive amount of grand gestures, signs of affection, and various acts which are supposed to convey appreciation and gratitude.
Usually, narcissists do love bombing according to a licensed professional counsellor Tabitha Westbrook, LMFT, with the intention to gain control over the person who is being love-bombed.
Love bombing is also an emotional manipulation to gain power over a person who is being showered with affection and attention as cited by Spirit, Ph.D., a licensed counselor.
So ladies, don't fall for that easily when a guy shows you too much affection, and attention and gives you gifts even on normal days.
– Smoking or doing drugs before you
Do you want a bad boy type?
But not to this level, lady. You don't deserve that when a guy smokes and does drugs before you especially if he knows, you hate those.
Doing drugs in your presence is not cool and that doesn't make him only a bad boy, but a horrible man as well.
FYI, not all women like bad guys. Perhaps you confuse a bad guy with someone who does what he likes and wants and doesn't care what other people think as long as he doesn't step on other toes.
– Talking about the future
Why is he in such a hurry when you two have just talked to each other for two days?
He tells you you're the perfect girl for him and he can't miss the chance to build a future with you.
Have you experienced that or ever heard those lines before?
For one moment it might be delightful to hear that but when you really use your logical thinking, it doesn't really make sense.
Maybe he has 3 kids waiting at home for a new mother to take care of them or he wants to get laid already.
Whatever the reason is, rushing things in a relationship is off-putting to some women. A woman in her right mind won't ever fall for that tactic unless she's ready to take the bait of a lifetime or months of headache with the guy.
– Asking how your sisters look like
This might sound so innocent. But if a stranger, your first date, asks this sends a red flag your way.
You are his date so asking how your sisters look is kinda strange and uncalled for, isn't it?
Don't think about jealousy – there's nothing to be jealous about when your date is more interested in your sister's appearance.
You should rather think of protecting your sisters from him.
So stay away from this type of guy the moment you learned of this on your first date.
– Showing off
A guy showing off could be a compliment and could mean he wants your attention. But when does showing off a red flag?
While some women love this kind of guy, others find it questionable. Is that really his personality or just want to pretend to be someone he is not?
Here are examples of how a guy shows off that would make other women raise their eyebrows:
-too many selfies on social media accounts that usually show his abs, biceps, Gucci bag and Porsche car
-he always talks about himself, his job and his achievements
-he rarely asks about you
-he talks on the phone even when you're around telling you it's his friend or his employee
– Informing you how you should be in the relationship
This is clear as the daylight. Even your parents can't dictate what you should be so how come a stranger thinks he has the right to tell you what and how you should be when you're with him.
You shouldn't have let him order the food for you, insisting you should only eat salad because he doesn't want to be with a fat woman in the future.
Now he's telling you what type of clothes you should be wearing on your next date or how you should behave around him when you're with his family and friends.
– Looking at other women or flirting with them
If he does that on your first date already then be thankful you see the sign already. I know you find it degrading and will make you ask yourself, aren't you attractive enough that he's being sneaky and looking at other women.
But it's not your fault or you shouldn't think that you are not beautiful enough.
He's simply being rude and disrespectful and no woman deserves such treatment from any man.
If he thinks that's acceptable on a first date or whenever he wants to, then let him know about it when he asks for a second date.
If those red flags won't send you running and leaving your date, then we have more in store for you. Here are other red flags some women encounter during first dates.
More red flags during first dates
– You look better in the picture
How entitled a person thinks to say this, right?
When you hear this from your date, please, restrain yourself, don't throw the water on his face – although he deserves it, the cold water might wake him up from his delusion.
So how should you respond to this statement?
We have different personalities that we respond differently when we are caught off guard after hearing this.
You can ignore it, laugh it off, explain technical matters about taking pictures with your phone -the angle, the lighting, camera reflection, make it deliberately so technical to annoy him, or tell him, you are late for your next date.
That comment might get to you but remember this, real beauty can't be captured by a gadget or by a shallow pompous man.
You might like to read:
- How To Look Attractive Without Makeup
- Simple Self-Care Checklist To Inspire You As A Woman
- How To Be Confident As A Woman
–Having a one-sided conversation with your bosom
He doesn't listen to you anymore. He's just fixed on those two protruding parts of your person.
It's either, he can't stand looking at your eyes (which may not be a good sign) or he's really just unabashed to make it too obvious what he really is.
Ladies, beware of pervs.
– Eating your meal
Eating your meal is normal in a relationship but not on a first date. Worse, he ordered a kid's meal for the two of you.
I don't know what's more embarrassing – having ordered a kid's meal or he reaching for your food over the table.
– “I need to be home or my mother worries” statement
For teenagers, this is normal but surely there's a way to make it a bit subtle so you won't appear like a namby-pamby boy to your date, guys. You can insinuate having a dog alone in your house and it needs to be attended to at a certain time – but only, if you really have a dog.
But for adults, this phrase is a no-no.
– Not appearing in your first meeting
Now this one's really the most obvious one.
It's not only disappointing but mortifying when your date didn't appear on your first date without telling you ahead of time.
But the good thing is, it saves you from a lifetime of waiting for this kind of guy.
If he contacts you again after leaving you high and dry, prepare yourself for a very applauding excuse from him.
Unless something really happened seriously then you will have to figure out if you give him another chance.
When it comes to first dates, it may be difficult to identify those red flags if you’re really excited about the prospect of meeting a guy and the thought of being in a relationship soon.
However, there are really obvious warning signs that may indicate he is not who he seems no matter how he hides his true character especially if you are aware of these dating red red flags before you agree to meet a total stranger.