My brother, Robert Whitley, was born on September 6, 1974. We never really got along much when we were younger but as the years went by we became close. Talking to each other on the phone and taking little trips, with his family. He was married and had a boy as well as a girl from a previous marriage. One thing in the world my brother loved most was his children. He would always talk about them with me. Unfortunately, his marriage did not last and he was banished back to Dover, DE. This tore at his heart like nothing else could ever do. I remember seeing in his eyes the pain, when he was told to leave. His wife dropped him off in Delaware like garbage, because she decided he was no longer what she wanted.
As time moved on, Robert didn’t. He just could not imagine his life without his children. At this time I was also in Delaware, living with my now husband, and starting a life of my own. I would always go see my brother and we would hang out all the time. Going out to Froggy’s (a night club at the time), just having fun. Living life. . I remember one day driving in the car and he asked me if I had ever done heroin. Frankly, I told him he was a moron and not to even think about it. I should have seen the signs then.
A couple of weeks after that my brother was hospitalized for an over dose. Taking too many pills and drinking on top of that. I should have seen the signs then. After that, I did not see my brother as much. I think back and I should have been with him more or helped him get the help that he needed. Everything after that day, till the day he died is nothing but a big blur. The night before my brother died he called me and my husband to see if we wanted to go out. Neither of us wanted to, so I told him that maybe another time. That would be the last time I talked to my brother.
October 7, 2001
My brother had lived with my mother, trying hard to get on his feet, but not being successful in doing so. My mom called me on the morning of the 7th and said that there was something wrong with Bobby. I did not understand what was going on at this point, but she was upset so I went on over to her apartment. My half-sister and half-brother, had found my brother on the bathroom floor. As I walked into the apartment, my heart just knew something was wrong and just did not feel right. I took both my younger brother and sister out of the apartment (from what I can remember). They had my brother in the hallway at this point and to this day when I close my eyes, I can see him. He was pronounced dead at the age of 27. Later we found out he had did a speed ball (heroin and cocaine), a deadly mix. I believe this was his first time doing heroin and it was his last.
I feel that this is a story that goes on to much. So many have lost a loved one from an overdose or doing drugs. What some don’t understand is the pain that is caused and the aftermath. I feel deep down that my brother wanted to die, thus making me feel angry that he would do this to the family. I struggle daily trying to understand why. I am still angry with those that contributed to my brothers death. Those that gave him the drugs, but most of all I am angry with myself. My father and mother have struggled and still struggle to deal with the loss. Every holiday and birthday my father goes out to the grave yard and takes my brother gifts and cake on his birthday. Even at times he takes a beer out to the cemetery and shares a drink with my brother.
This is just not simply a “Just Say No” post, I hope this post also shows you how deeply people can be broken by the actions of others. I will never have the chance to talk to my brother again, nor tell him how much I love him. I know that I did not say “I love you” enough. It breaks my heart to think of all that he has missed in the world. All I really can say is that if you know someone who is struggling, dealing with addiction and depression, help them. Even if they don’t want you to, and most of all never let a moment go without saying “I love you”.
I made this video below showing you pictures from our lives together, including pictures from his funeral.
In my product postings, most of the products have been received free for my honest review. I will always give my honest opinion. All images and posts are property of Hello Betty.